One Wheeler's World

A couple months ago, I wrote a post that I ended with this thought: The ability to look back later and find a little bit of peace in the pain of our pasts, because it was that pain that makes us ever aware of the beauty of the present. 

As I recently shared, I’ve been struggling a lot recently with a variety of old emotional scars that seem to all be demanding my full attention lately.  Back in March, I started out on a mission to begin to sort through those issues.  To say I failed at that mission would be an understatement.  Honestly, I allowed myself to just walk away from it all when some of those scars started to feel like they were about to be torn wide open.  Rather than take advantage of my space here to work through all of those new (and overwhelming) feelings that were hitting me, I did what I always tend to do.  I shoved it deep down inside and did my very best to just ignore it.  But I haven’t been able to ignore it very well this time.  Rather, I’ve just been sinking further and further into what feels like a huge, dark hole.  Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve started to feel like I’m the verge of completely falling apart.  And I’ve come to realize just how essential it is for me to finally put some of my focus on myself.  I need to heal.  It will make me a better wife.  A better mother.  A better me.  I will help me to find that peace that I wrote about back in February.  It will help me to get back to focusing on the beauty of the present.

So, I’m recommitting myself to this mission.  I’m committing to working on myself.  Project: Me, if you will.  My plan of attack is pretty simple.  I’m making two small, yet important, commitments on this journey to a better me.  First, I am committing to at least one blog post per week dedicated to unpacking at least one item from my emotional baggage.  That’s not to say that I will rid myself completely of that item, but that I will at least address it and work towards letting go of it.  Secondly, I am vowing to doing at least one thing for myself each week.  This may be something as small as making my favorite meal for dinner, taking a fifteen minute time-out for a little bit of “me” time in a hot bath, or watching my favorite movie.  Or it may be something a little bigger like a girls’ night out or buying myself something new.

If you’ve been paying attention, you might have noticed a new badge appear in the right sidebar, as well as a new page listed in the menu above.  As I was thinking through embarking on this journey and on the things that I want to do for myself, I got to thinking about the idea of possibly creating a network of bloggers who want to join me and want to set out on their own journey of healing.  With this came the idea of project: Heal.  It is basically an ongoing bloghop, a somewhat organized attempt at reaching out to find myself a network of support as I work through my emotional baggage.  A group of people who can all support and encourage one another as we each work towards attaining a similar goal in becoming happier, healthier versions of ourselves.  We may not be able to unpack one another’s emotional baggage, but we can at least come together to help lug those suckers along while the bags get slowly unpacked.  If you want to participate (and I really hope you will), please visit the project: Heal page to add your blog to the list of participators. 

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