12/15/2010: 1st Birthday
What a year it has been! It is amazing to see how far you have come since the day you were born. I still think back and remember how little you were holding you in my arms for the first time, thinking to myself that I was finally a father. There is nothing I can say that will help let you know what that is like, but I can tell you that when you get the chance to experience it for the first time yourself, it will be something that you will never forget.
As much fun as this first year was, whether we were taking you to baseball or football games, going to the park, or just playing on the floor at home, I know that this year will be even better. So many firsts are just around the corner for you, and I look forward to experiencing them all with you!
Love Daddy!
…
Dear Zachary,
It seems that I’ve tried to write this letter a hundred times over the past few days. I’ve spent a lot of time staring at the blinking cursor, trying to figure out just how to express all of the things that have crossed through my mind. Now, here I sit again, no longer able to procrastinate, as today is the day. Your first birthday.
As I write this letter, the clock has just ticked past 10:19am. Exactly one year ago at this moment, you came into this world…into our lives. Exactly one year ago today, I still didn’t know just how much my life was about to change…just how amazing things were about to become. I spent most of that first day in a haze, staring at you, bewildered at the prospect that this beautiful little boy was my son. From the moment you were born, I have loved you in a way that I never knew was possible. With you in my arms, I discovered the person that I was meant to be…a mother. And I have discovered just how magical life can be, when one tiny little being enters your life and makes your family complete.
This past year has truly been the most amazing year of my life. With each day that passes, I cherish you more and more. Every moment that we have shared together seems more fantastic than the last, each milestone more monumental than those that came before it. I remember the first time that you smiled a “real” smile at me. My heart melted, and I thought for sure that there was nothing that could ever come close to comparing to the way that I felt that moment. And I was right. Until I made you giggle for the first time. Your little squeal had Daddy and I rejoicing, as we rushed to grab the video camera to capture that moment forever. I just knew that nothing could make me more proud than I was then. And for a moment, that was true. Until you rolled over…rolled back the other way…sat up with a pillow behind you…sat up all on your own…pulled yourself up onto your knees…crawled…pulled yourself up to standing…took those first few wobbly steps with the coffee table as your trusty guide…stood all by yourself…took those first couple wobbly steps sans the furniture.
With each new milestone, I have discovered an even deeper sense of pride. Pride for the things that you have accomplished. And, more importantly, pride for the person that you are. As time passes, more and bigger pieces of your personality continue to emerge, and I am continuously awe-struck by the little boy that you are becoming. From the first moment that you arrived, you have been such a sweet, easy-going little boy. The nurses at the hospital commented on it. Grandma commented on it. Your daddy and I laughed over it. We have countless photos of you in those first few days just “lounging” in the arms of whomever was holding you at the moment. That casual, kicked-back approach to being fussed with seemed the perfect outward sign for the laid back attitude that you had from day one. I suppose that you were what most people would label an “easy baby.” Don’t get me wrong, there were some challenging moments, especially in the early days when you and I were still working to figure out nursing. But, for the most part, you were a happy baby. Yet, mixed in with that easy-going spirit of yours is an almost contradictory determination like none that I have ever seen before. I have often watched with amazement as you have worked on tackling a new task all on your own. Whether it be reaching for the toy that’s just a bit too far away or wanting to play with those pesky kitties who keep running away from you, when you set your mind to something, you are almost certainly going to figure out a way to make it happen. I love the look of complete concentration that comes over your face as you try to figure new things out. Even more than that, I love your expression when you accomplish the task at hand. And I can’t help but laugh a bit when that little temper of yours emerges if things don’t quite work like you want them to.
With each new piece of you that I’m introduced to, I love you more and more. It seems like it would be impossible to love you any more than I do today, but I’ve learned by now that there’s always room for a little more love when it comes to you. I am so incredibly blessed to have been given the opportunity to be your momma, and I am eternally grateful for the day that you came into my life. Someday, I hope that you will have a child of your own so that you can understand what am amazing gift from God parenthood truly is.
I confess to feeling a little sad as your birthday has drawn near. How is it possible that my sweet little baby is already one? The time has just gone too quickly! At the same time, I’m so excited for what this new year will bring for you and for our family. A new set of milestones awaits us, and I look forward to each and every one of them.
Happy Birthday, Baby!
Love,
Momma